Yesterday: old friend, G, comes to town… have know him for 24 years. dated briefly about 22 years ago, was out of contact for about 10 years until last August. He calls every Sunday at 7 pm. I think he is looking for a wife.

Last night: G and I go out for the evening. I met him in front of his hotel and we go in search of food, ending up at my favorite place to hang out. There’s a great folk musician playing, we get dinner and beers . It’s all good. Until…. G has a few too many. The more beers, the more leg touching is happening. The more I am scooting my chair slightly farther away. The more he is scooting closer. Ugh. The music ends, the bar starts to shut down, it’s 11 ish and I am d-o-n-e. I walk us back to my car, at which point he starts to go on about how much he misses me, how he wishes I would move home, and on and on… fortunately, my car was only a block away. I pointed him toward his hotel, hugged him goodnight, got in my car and drove off. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw him standing on the sidewalk watching as I drove away. It made me sad but damn!

As I drove home, I thought about why I didn’t want this. And what I do want.

• I want someone I love to talk with.
• I want someone who doesn’t put getting fucked up as a top priority or judge how much fun they had by how much they had to drink.
• I want to be with someone where, when there is silence it isn’t awkward
• I want the creativity, love for life, passion for the things that are meaningful to be second nature with the one I’m with.
• I live out of the box – in my parenting, ways of thinking, passions – and I need to have someone in my life who is compatible in these ways.
• I want to be with someone who is genuinely interested in what I want out of life, how my day is, and what I am thinking.
• and I want someone who is supportive of the crazy ideas I get stuck on and will even occasionally be my partner in crime
• but most of all, I want to be with someone who loves me for who I am and I, them.

This is all just a little snippet, of course…